Round One: Taliban vs. Sand People vs / Incredible Hulk vs. Oscar the Grouch
In this division judges awarded unanimous decisions for the Taliban over the Sand People (seems one loud scream was enough to scare the Sand People away) and a KO for the Incredible Hulk who responded with predictable rage to Oscar’s incessant complaining about Hulk’s hairdo.
Betty vs. Veronica / Barney the Dinosaur vs. the Teletubbies
An easy victory for the Teletubbies who quickly surrounded and brought down Barney when he went in for a pre-fight hug. Betty looked to be heading for a scratch-filled victory before Veronica’s bodyguards put a quick end to Betty’s fighting career.
Round One: Stalin's Moustache vs. Hitler's Moustache / Cap'n Crunch vs. the Trix Bunny
The judges gave this round to Stalin’s moustache on sheer volume alone after disqualifying Hitler’s moustache for being far too dainty for a deadly warrior. Meanwhile, a drunk Cap’n Crunch took a narrow victory over a hopped-up-on-sugar Trix bunny thanks to the Cap’n's inability to feel pain.
Round Two: Veronica vs. Cap'n Crunch vs. Teletubbies
This battle ended quickly after the Cap’n tried to rape and pillage Veronica which sparked an gang war between the Crunch’s pirates and Veronica’s henchmen, leaving the Teletubby alone to clean up the bloody mess and take this round’s championship title.
Round Two: Stalin's Moustache vs. the Incredible Hulk vs. the Taliban
Another win by TKO after Stalin’s moustache recruited the Taliban warrior to take out the Hulk and then stabbing him in the back during the Jihadist’s victory dance.
THE FINAL ROUND: Stalin's Moustache vs. The Teletubbies
As you can hear if you listen the blow-by-blow account in the podcast below, the judges were unable to call a winner in the Ultimate Battle. We need you help to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior: Stalin’s moustache or Teletubbies.
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Send us your votes and thoughts to brilliantorstupid@gmail.com.
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