A new satellite has been launched to help keep track of TV weathermen and weatherwomen’s frantic hand gestures. The satellite was launched after television viewers complained that the quick pace and continued blathering about conditions they do not live in and have no desire to even travel to caused them much anxiety.
“Can’t they just go to another news report? It’s too chaotic watching them. Commercials are more relaxing than these bozos,” said one whiner, who was woken from a very comfortable nap thanks to last night’s weather report that lasted 22 minutes and he knows because he timed it.
The satellite will include an automatic mute button for whenever they start discussing the barometric pressure or if any of them veer off-topic by mentioning their pets. Until the technology is up-and-running people are being advised to look out the window if they would like to know today’s weather.
