The Nasdaq, the Footsie and the other one that has a funny name have all been behaving irrationally, says internationally acclaimed person Dr Edith Hampton-Tin.
“Stocks have been acting too volatile,” she said. “First they go up, then they go down. Granted, we are in a recession, and analysts can’t make forecasts, but all young stocks need discipline.”
Last night Telephonecomcom.net was so distraught it sank 300 points, taking down the entire telecoms sector with it.
“These stocks are bullies and must be rounded up,” said one stock market observer.
A socialist said: “It’s not the stocks’ fault. We put too much pressure on them to perform. The government should provide funding to help stocks.”
Tonight, GCM Industries felt congested. Down Under Barbecues rose 230 points but nobody noticed.
Riots in Beijing followed the news that BHM was feeling cautious about its chances, though a 100,000-strong parade commenced in Tokyo after the group’s spin-off OHM rose 1 per cent.
The NYSE exchange forgot to open but luckily Deutsche Borse stepped in and pretended to be American. Paris’s CAC 40 index was in there too. They plan to leave on the next flight out.
New Zealand announced next Thursday to be Thursday day, after the dotcom group Thursday Technologies announced record profits on sales of its patented memory chips, though no one at the company could quite remember the actual figures.
In Sydney the ASE beat India’s leaderboard by 245.88 points, but New Delhi has announced it was declaring war.
