The following noticeboard posted on the Canadian Forces base in Kandahar has been obtained by brilliantorstupid.com.
Lost: One rifle. Platoon stuck without it as soldiers share it. Reward if found.
Vacation property for rent: Three-bedroom villa, ex-Taliban commander’s “palace” features modern open-plan kitchen, skylight, new carpet, in popular “The Palms” residential complex. Big yard for kids to play in or to round up enemies. Amenities include: shower, washer-dryer, microwave, dungeon, splatter-proof walls, etc.
For sale: One tank. Recent oil change, tracks in great shape. One owner (Canada), low mileage. Great for weekend retreats. No air conditioning.
Lost: One super soldier. About 18-feet-tall, three-foot-wide biceps, fires missiles from his lap, never sleeps, easily agitated. If found please return to: Secret CIA Research Station.
Fore sale: Two front row tickets to see Spice Girls tribute act (Please note: they’re all men with beards).
Announcement: This Friday’s paintball weekend retreat has been cancelled at the psychiatric department’s insistence.
