Worldwide Global Mega Media International Co-Corporation is a division of Bun Corp, the world’s oldest company. Founded by ancient druids, the company’s first goal was in providing aphrodisiacs and potions to European tribal chiefs and Roman emporers. The company later acquired Maximus Shootus, a Roman arms manufacturer, which later went into bankruptcy after its main product “bird bombs” — birds of prey trained to drop balls of fire on the enemy — flopped (which interestingly, is how the term “bird brain” was born).
The company later became famous for its brand of delicious, seductive cocoa leaf cigarettes. After being chased out the New World by the Mayans, Bun Corp then hired Aztec mercenaries to wipe out the Mayans. The Aztecs were then “accidentally” told their lands were to be devoured by giant honey bees. The Aztecs fled en masse, but to where nobody knows or has bothered to look.
In 1861 Bun Corp launched Worldwide Global Mega Media International Corporation to take advantage of the invention of reading. The division quickly launched 4,500 newspapers across the globe. They all flopped because the Publisher Charles Pearce demanded all editions throughout the world carry the same stories every day. That strategy unfolded when Mr Pearce demanded the top story be about the British parliament debating the cultivation of Indigo in Bengal. A most unfortunate decision because that same day on April 12, 1861, the American Civil War erupted. All newspapers were closed the following day except for one: Lisbon Today, which was mocked, derided, scorned and eventually burnt down — twice.
Today, Bun Corp provides the world over with quality products such as chewing gum burgers, heart-cooling medicine, and the always-popular baby teething gel and personal lubricant.
Having said that, most of Bun Corp’s products and services have been complete failures (the 10 million pairs of executive “clown pants” was particularly painful). But the fact that the company has existed since the dawn of time has resulted in what its directors refer to as “legacy profits”, which are similar to real profits except they do not physically existant. The company expects its first sales to begin sometime this decade. Success is clearly in the cards!
Editor’s note: Are we sure about this? It sounds all made up. Whoever heard of Lisbon anyway? Knew we shouldn’t have gotten those two idiot interns to write this up. Anyway, I’m off to lunch.
Sub-editor’s note: Yes, yes. This is all correct. No, those two idiots cocked it up again. Can we shoot them now?!
Lunch lady’s Note: One prawn sandwich left. anyone interested?
Editor’s note: This is not supposed to be an inter-office blog. Can we have IT look into this and change it back?
IT note: Have you tried rebooting? That is incorrect. This page now resembles a noticeboard, rather than a blog. Hope this helps.
CEO’s note: Let’s brainstorm this problem in boardroom C. I want accounting, sales, and project managers to put on their problem-solving hats and figure a way out of this!
Larry’s note: Please note that I will be out of the office until August 31.
CEO’s note: Wasn’t aware Larry was away. Let’s have the meeting next month.
